It’s 3:15am and Outlook bings. That’ll be Ted Turner, I think – before remembering that Outlook isn’t a fax machine and I’m not Hunter S. Thompson. In any event, it’s Waitrose.

This email is a gentle reminder that you could be running out of groceries and therefore may need to place another order with Ocado.

Shit, they’re right. I am running out of groceries. We’re all running out of groceries. And it’s a situation that Waitrose is really concerned about. They sent me a postcard yesterday, saying much the same thing, personalised with my street name. Thank God someone invented the future or we’d never have any of this shit. Read more...